What if the person doesn’t want or ask for my forgiveness?

You choose to forgive…you can’t change what happen, you can change your reaction.

How do I forgive?

There is no recipe for forgiveness. Recognize the need, name and release the hurt, seek support, assess capacity/readiness to forgive, extend forgiveness to self/other, ritualize, and re-frame. It requires taking some type of action: face-to-face, prayer, meditation, apology, centering, other actions.

How could you do that to me?

Some injuries are purposeful and others are unintentional.

How can I trust you now?

You know your limitations. Begin first with yourself.

How can I forgive you again?

There are risks and there are limits.

I don’t deserve it…

Who does? Look at all parts of yourself and others.

It’s hard to say I’m sorry.

Be honest, have a sense of remorse, expressed time and effort.

I don’t feel like it…

It is not feeling or an emotion; it’s a conscious choice.

Some hurts are too great to forgive.

It’s not about setting the other person free; it’s about about setting yourself free.

• Requires courage.
• Healing is a pain endeavor.
• Forgiveness transforms suffering.
• Countercultural, it comes from the heart.

http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/practice-patience#sthash.OuOh0gGO

Forgiveness is an art. There are many dimensions and colors to the story of forgiveness. From a small child saying they are sorry for taking something without asking to a nation seeking forgiveness and reconciliation for the sins to their people.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful forces in human interaction. In the act of forgiveness there is grace and healing.

To be forgiven is an invitation to live in a fundamentally different way with the one who has extended forgiveness. To be forgiven means that one can no longer live in the same way. 

Forgiveness heals, restores and renews. It is in the depth and radicalness of this grace that we are both enticed and scared.

Forgiveness is a step in the journey to a new way of life – transformation – that leads us to extend goodness to others and become healers in the world.

Intentional transformation brings healing and wholeness – we just need to make room for it.

Refusal or resistance to change can be a major obstacle to transformation. We must be open to the kaleidoscope of witness that is all around us.

We often cling to our ways and habits convincing ourselves they are our only choices. We often go back and forth between fear and doubt resisting anything new or different – this may occur through decisions or indecisiveness.

Daily Reminders

• Watching ice melt into water is a cue for us to practice transformation.
• When we witness the movement from sickness to health, we are reminded of the recuperative powers of spiritual transformation. 
• Looking at photographs of ourselves when we were younger, we vow to be happy with all the changes we have undergone.
• Blessed is the Sacred Source who lives in and through all of our transformations.

Prayer Mantra

Breathe in: As Spirit transforms me…

Breathe out: May I transform the world.

Inspired by: Pema Chodron and Marjory Zoet Bankson